The co-parenting relationship you have with your ex has a significant impact on your children. Whether the effect on your kids is positive or negative is largely up to you. Anyone in this situation should make sure that they are planning for a successful parenting journey.
When you and your ex first split up, it can be hard to separate the divorce from the parenting relationship but it is necessary. You don’t need to allow resentment to fester because that can make the situation much more difficult. Finding ways to simplify things and turn this into a positive experience can be a challenge, but it is well worth it.
Become a parenting team
Having a good attitude about working with your ex when it comes to parenting can help you immensely. Instead of focusing on the reason for the divorce, come up with a plan that enables you to present a united front before the children.
Set some rules that remain consistent in both homes. This might be bedtimes or curfews. Even the time the child spends doing homework might be the same at both homes. Be willing to back up the decisions your co-parent makes. If you don’t agree with any, have a discussion about this in private, never in front of the children.
Stay on top of things
Procrastination can be detrimental to your peace of mind. Instead of waiting until the last minute to handle things like schedule changes, discuss them with your ex as soon as you’re aware of the need for changes. The same is true for events like school plays and vacations. By working out the details as early as possible, you know what to expect and can plan accordingly.
Focus on your children
Always keep your focus on what is best for the children. The parenting plan isn’t about what you need or your ex needs. It is about what your kids need. Keeping them at the center of all decisions can make things easier since you won’t be tempted to do things just to spite your ex. Of course, you would expect that your ex does the same.
One thing that can improve a parenting relationship is to have a solid parenting plan in place. The more information you have in the rubric, the less stress you might feel. A measure of predictability in what transpires, rather than being in the throes of unexpected twists and breaks in routine, will help your kids feel more secure amid the upheaval and radical change in the life they used to know living under one roof with both of their parents.